10 Things I Say to My Kids Before Bed

Bedtime can be an oppertune time to fill your child’s emotional bucket. The words you say to them before they drift off to a land of slumber, can impact their sleep quality, their feelings of self worth, as well as set the stage for the next day.

Setting your child up for success upon waking, can be accomplished through affirmations. Affirming your child before bed is a positive and effective way to help nurture their well being and attend to their mental health.

Our mental health, the way we think of ourselves is often shaped by our environment. Providing your child with an enviornment in which they are reminded of their worth, their safety, and your uconditional love will help them drift off to sleep, feeling seen, heard, and valued. This in turn will positively support a healthy mental and emotional state.

1. Being brave is doing things even though you are afraid. You are brave.

Highlighting this characterisitc in a child is highly valuable. Calling attention to their bravery helps to instill a boldness that leads to self advocation.

2. God loves you.

God is the hero in our house. Above all, I want my children to know that they are God’s special creation and He loves them and always will. Knowing this, brings peace and comfort.

3. Being like someone else, means the world doesn’t get to know you. 

I don’t want my children to ever feel that they have to submit to being like someone else, in order to be valuable. They are exactly who they were meant to be and have something increadible to offer this world, just as they are. This increases self love and confidence.

4. I think its cool that you are such a good friend.

There isn’t enough focus placed on teaching children how to be a good friend. This is something we talk about all the time in my home. When I catch my children being a good friend, I make sure to call it out. This brings awareness to what makes them and others a good friend. Knowing how to be a good friend can decrease feelings of lonliness, as they are equipped with positive tools to expand their relationship circle.

5. I like how you helped your sister/brother today.

In my home, we are in this life together. Helping each other is how we successfully get through the day to day. We are each others support system. We extend that help to others as well. We were given gifts to share and help others. When I see my children lending a helping hand, I call attention to it. This creates an environment where helping others is the norm. Helping others provides a sense of purpose and increases self-esteem.

6. I appreciate you using your manners.

Using your manners as a way to show respect for others, is a non negotiable in my home. It’s not only about showing respect, it’s about building positive relationships, which supports mental wellness.

7. You have a lot to be thankful for.

Highlighting all of the advantages, the supports, the opportunities, the community, the met needs, even the material things that my children have, allows them to attend to how full their life is. This creates an environment of gratitude. In addition, it creates a sense of  humility, as they realize others may not be so fortunate. This experienced gratitude and humility can increase life satisfaction.

8. I think it’s awesome how hard you worked in school today.

There’s so much focus on taking tests, being the best in the class, getting into an ivy league school. Research has shown how this pressure increases anxiety and decreases self-esteem. I choose not to focus on the push to be the best , rather I celebrate the efforts taken to do their best. Everyone’s best is different. I choose to allow my children space to give what their level of best is. I extend opportunities to fail, get back up, and fail again (if that happens). This provides emotional balance, realisitc expectations, and self compassion.

9. You drank all of your water. It’s cool that you care about being healthy.

Your physical and mental health are in alignment. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental health. I don’t just tell my children to eat healthy. I teach them why it’s important. Giving them a shout out when they eat their veggies or drink their water, positively reinforces the behavior. They love their water tracker. It’s a great way to make sure they stay hydrated, which increases chances of a positive mood.

10. I love you this much…..I can’t measure it with my arms. 

My love for my children is so great. It can not be measured by human efforts. I try my best to be intentional about showing this through the way I parent and interact with them on a daily basis. This provides them with an idea of what love looks like and a standard of which to compare. 

Children look to their parents/guardians for their emotional well being. Support them by affirming who they are daily. Before bedtime is a perfect time, as it provides an opportunity for internal building of confidence, safety, and love after a day of going through this ever changing and sometimes negative world. No matter how or when you do, affirm your child.

My children love receiving affirmation cards. I place them anywhere they may visit in the house….next to their toothbrush, on their pillow, on top of their tablet. They get a huge serotonin boost from reading these positive messages. Even children who are not yet reading, enjoy receiving these and having them read to them. Try our affirmation cards and get your own serotonin boost when you see your child smile.

If you have ideas on how to affirm children, please share with the community. We would love to hear from you.